The "Home-making" Father

Women are known as the homemakers and I think rightly so, but what about all the "home making" that the dad's do? I thought of that as I was thinking of the normal "mom post' and Father's day.  Home would not be home, Mom would not have a home to make a home ,truly a home, without Dad. I know , of course, there are instances when one spouse has to carry on alone but home in God's plan is Mom and Dad.
I was thinking of the two father's in my life.
 My Pop has always been ...well...just "Pop"! He was never a Dad , he was never a Father. He disliked both of those terms and for some reason neither really suits him. He was and is just "Pop"! For those that know him that explains him!
In fact growing up his own children were not the only ones that called him "Pop". Most of the other young people in the church did , also. I thought perhaps it was because we were a small church and everyone knew each other so well. But as we grew older and had friends visit from out of state and meet him for the first time, soon they all called him Pop too! When several years ago he moved from that church to a new area, everyone again, very quickly just called him ..."Pop"!
He is a one-of-a-kind person! If you ever meet him you'll never forget him.
He worked hard for his family. He worked in the woods most of my growing up years. It was hard , tiring work with hardly ever enough money to stretch far enough, but we made it!
I remember surprises in his lunch pail brought home to show us kids. I remember long winter nights of "Authors", "Aggravation", Probe"and building "Lincoln Log" houses. And stories,...always stories.
He believed in firm discipline and hard work. Many were the times as a child I thought he overdid both! But I'm thankful for the things he taught me.
Today it is just him and Mom left in their home and Pop truly is the homemaker. Mom is bedfast with ALS brought on by Lyme's disease. Pop lovingly cares for her every need! Some one of the family is alwasy there to help but Pop is really the one who does all Mom's care.I thank God for Pop!

I think of my own husband, the Father of our 9 children. Without him our home would not be a home the way it is.
 He is the steadying. He is the anchor.
 He is the one who works tirelessly to provide food and clothing and a roof over our heads. He is the one who fixes the leaky faucets, the screeching vaccuum sweeper, and the door that sticks. He is the one who gets up to check on the bumps in the night.
He is the fun-loving one ; always ready to show the kids something or play with them.
He's a friend to all the kids. He's the hugger and soother for the little ones and the counsellor for the older ones.
He is the one where "the buck stops" . He is the go to man for everyone.
He is the one who leads the family prayer. He is the one who answers their questions about God.
My man, my husband, my children's Dad, is the one behind this "home-maker"! He is the one who holds me up and gets me through the day.
He's the one who encourages me when things are tough and assures me that we'll get through it.
 I grocery shop. I feed him. I wash his clothes .(sometimes he even does that! ) I pick up his dirty socks. I keep the house clean. I listen when he needs to talk and I give input. I "mother" the kids.
 But.....
It's the man of the house. It's him. It's the father here who provides, the food , the house ,the vehicle, the clothes,even the wash machine!
It's the Father who provides what Mom needs, materially, physically , emotionally and spiritually and to be a homemaker.
It's the Father who is the REAL homemaker!!
Thank you, heavenly Father, for a godly man!

This post is linked at Homemakers by Choice
http://www.homemakerbychoice.net/2012/06/friday-homemaking-link-up_14.html

Parenting?

Ok, I saw it once too often....
The video circulating through facebook of the dad who found the disrespectful letter about her parents on his 15yrld daughter's facebook. I am not posting the link because of the bad language on it.
The Dad proceeds to make a video and posts it on his daughter's wall of him reading the letter and addressing her issues and her subsequent punishment.
He takes issue with her foul language ; which he should. He reprimands her disrespect; which he should. He sets her straight on her viewpoint of her "unfair" life; which he should. He addresses her lack of appreciation for what he has done for her; which he should. And he clearly lays out punishment ; which he should.
When I saw it , it had over 6800 comments on it. I scrolled down quite a way and couldn't find one single one that disagreed with him. They applauded his "tough love" parenting, his being "willing to stand up", his "not taking it anymore off a spoiled brat daughter". They said more parents should parent this way then we wouldn't have kids who think they're entitled to everything and are lazy and disrespectful. And on and on....applauding his parenting.
Might sound good if that was really what it is, but it's not.
Let me address his "parenting"--
How is public punishment and humiliation any way to show your love and respect for your daughter.
He addresses her in the same tone of disrespect she uses.
He uses the same kind of language she uses.
He says that at 15 she should be out of the house holding down a job and boasts how he had left home by that age and was taking care of himself.
When he's done telling her how he feels , he stands up walks to her laptop and proceeds to put 7 bullets into it. Enunciating as he does so what this particular bullet is in response to, throwing in one as he says his wife asked him to.
Then he sits down and says he hopes all the kids who thought she was so cool can see this and he hopes parents will stand up and put boots ** ***** kids' *** for doing things like this and not take the **** **** off their kids anymore.
Really? Are you serious? That's good parenting?
No wonder the daughter has no respect. No wonder the daughter uses bad language. No wonder the daughter won't let her parents have her password and posts bad letters about them.
The problem here started long before this episode.
What happened to "Fathers provoke not your children to wrath"? What happened to " train up a child in the way he should go".
I'm all for good old-fashioned discipline. I often implement grounding and taking away privileges. There is definitely a place for tough love. I agree children of today are spoiled. I agree parents shouldn't take disrespect.
But I will not agree with punishment that is disrespectful and done in an ungodly manner. That will not reap the outcome we are looking for in our children!
Our children's training is a sacred trust. We must go with God and walk in His way to do it!

Twenty Years Ago

Twenty years ago,today, morning dawned with a beautiful baby girl for our family! After losing 3 babies in the early stages of pregnancy and two deliveries with complications , the 9mos. prior to that were spent in a lot of prayer. We were blessed with only 7hrs of labor and no complications!
She joined two brothers 4 and 2 who were as delighted with her as we were. At last we had our tiny girl. At 7lbs and 13 oz , she was much smaller than her two brothers.
She was an excellent baby, She slept through the night after 4mos and you could just lay her down anywhere in the middle of anything and she would go to sleep! She crawled late becasue she had a difficult time figuring out how to get her knees up under her. many times we laughed at her little push-ups trying to get herself going. She went quickly from crawling to walking and walked at 10 mos.
She grew to be chubby short little toddler . Mommy had so much fun dressing her!
She quickly became my helper , as 6 more difficult pregnancies and 6 more babies entered the family in the next 10 yrs.
She learned housekeeping at a young age and became a better housekeeper than her mommy.
Throughout the years sometimes our relationship was a bit rocky. She liked cleaning and sewing-- Mom liked baking and cooking. She loved crafts--mom hated crafts. She loved bright , splashy colors-- Mom stuck to more muted tones and patterns. She could sit for hours writing stories and poems-- Mom didn't have the patience and aptitude for either. She was shy and aloof as a child and effervescently, outgoing as a teenager--Mom would have preferred it the other way around.
If Mom would have been wiser, much wiser so many years ago, things would have gone easier.
Then suddenly.... or probably not so suddenly really.... it just seemed that way.. somewhere in her mid-late teens....
We became FRIENDS....good friends! :)
Her chatter turned into long talks with mom. We discussed everything and anything. I sought her advice on decorating the house, arranging the furniture, and dressing styles. She learned to cook and bake. She was amazing at it! She was creative, talented,  and gifted in nearly every aspect of managing a home and a whole lot of delightful "extra- ciricular" activities to accent those skills.
She was/is what a mother wants...a godly, beautiful, talented daughter!
Then suddenly.....or probably not so suddenly really...it just seemed that way...
She was courting....she was married....she was gone.....
She found a young man whom we love. She was a beautiful bride.
But she moved 2500 miles away...
I miss her...we miss her...
Happy Birthday, Vonda LaRose!!!!!!!! Thank You, God for my Daughter!




Musings...

Just pondering today...not sure it is a really cohesive thought....

Is  expressing our most intimate experiences with God in public format , good or bad?

When we blurt about for any or all to hear and/or read of our most private moments with Him, I think it somehow mars the special relationship as much as it would if I would blat everything precious and private in my relationship with my husband.

Somehow it seems like the world's philosophy of "free love" and "open relationship" has begun to creep into our union with God. Nothing is sacred anymore.

Along with that and perhaps more at the heart of my ponderings is the "new-fangled" way of expressing that.

Somehow all this trying to make God so "human" ,so "just my favorite bud", so "warm fuzzy" disturbs me....

Am I the old-fashioned one? Am I too stuck in "King James" as they say?

I am all for a very real , intimate, breathing, living, relationship with God that goes way beyond the sterility of most just "church" experience, but ......somehow some of what this has become bothers me.

He is after all a Holy God. One whom Moses needed to take off his shoes to approach. One who's face we are not even able to see because of it's glory.

The fact that HE, My Creator, My God desires me as His child is awesomely wonderful . That He says we can call Him, Abba, Father, is absolutely precious. That His son has told us we are no longer servants but friends is a beautiful sustaining truth and reality.

But does that all mean that I need to be trying to always think of him as a "man" as just like me? Jesus became as flesh, as human, while here on earth. That was a dramatic change for Him. That was not who He was before nor who He is now.

When I see people trying to make things from scripture or their relationship with Him fit into the same type of relationship I would have with my  "coffee pal" that bothers me.

Am I the weird one?

"How deep the Father's LOVE for me..."

Christmas, end of year ,beginning a new year....it makes me reflective....
I was thinking of the good news, the glad tidings ,what the earth gained but at what cost to heaven.
I ws thinking of my daughter.
I was thinking of the song "How deep the Father's love for me".
I'll start with the story of my daughter. Several years ago one of our young daughters had some extremely bad dental problems. It brought about a trip to the Children's hospital in Denver.
She was a very, very, shy child and it worried me greatly as to how this was all going to affect her. I stressed over and over again to the drs. and nurses that I had to be with her at ALL times. As that was impossible ,of course, for surgery they allowed me to hold her until she went under and assured me I would be called before she woke up. She clung to me as I told her she would take a nap and I would be right beside her when she awoke. Then she went limp in my arms.
We waited what seemed waaaayy too long and then they urgently called me to recovery. As I walked through the door, I heard a child's frantic, ragged ,screams of terror, "mommy, mommy, mommy mommy!".
It is hard to describe my feelings as I knew that voice to be my daughters and I RAN to her side!!! She was sitting up in bed ,wild-eyed (very much awake!) and reaching for me!
The she sobbed, "mommy you weren't here!"
I was angry, very angry at what they had done to her. I hurt; a deep, searing hurt for my daughter and for the fact that she saw me as having lied to her.
The only comfort I could find was holding, squeezing her, and murmuring over and over "mommy's here, mommy's here. you're okay."
"My God,My God why hast thou forsaken me! "
"The Father turns His face away..."
How could a father do that!!!
Do you understand what that meant for the Father?
Do you understand that mankind's joy at the birth of a baby brought such pain to heaven?
I'm reminded again of an old song that impressed when I first heard it as a child, "His birth was but a path to Calvary".
The Father knew that.
The angels sang "Good tidings" and HE sent them to say that because the love the Father felt for the lost children of mankind over- rode what he knew was the cost to Him and His Son.
"How deep the Father's love for us."
How long has it been since you really contemplated the "Glorious Wondrousness" behind the Joy of this time we celebrate as Christmas!?

Nailing Jesus to The Cross

 I found this in my xanga blog archives and it touched me again.....

It was an ordinary day, with ordinary duties and conversation.Then out of the mouth of the 4 yr old it came, "Mom, if I tell a lie, is that just like nailing Jesus to the cross again?" His little voice was very serious.
I stopped... Now that is a good question! In trying to understand where the question came from, it became apparent he had overheard conversation on Heb. 4:6 "...seeing they crucify to themselves the Son of God afresh, and put Him to an open shame." and Heb.10:29..."who hath trodden underfoot the Son of God and hath counted the blood of the covenant wherewith he was sanctified, an unholy thing..."
As I attempted to put into 4 yr old language the concept of those verses, suddenly the day was no longer ordinary. What an awesome concept and leave it to a little child to see it in its simplicity. How often have I stopped to really put that into perspective against my sin?
What could I say? Yes, really it is that simple. We, as adults try to distance ourselves from these verses by saying that means the hardened,unrepentant sinner. Why not make it more personal? When I sin, I may as well be nailing my Saviour to the cross again. He bore my sin once and for all to grant me forgiveness and freedom from sin. Why do act as if that wasn't sufficient? Why do I shame Him by treating that great sacrifice of so little consequence that I can't even get victory over those same pesky "little " things that cloud my life over and over?
It was a gem of truth in an otherwise ordinary day. There are so, many, many reasons Jesus said " ye must become as little children". Thank You, my son, thank you, my Father!

...Or Something Like That....

My husband and I were discussing the differences in perspective , attitude, reactions, etc. between man and woman. Or rather I was discussing, he was listening. Or rather I was discussing, I think he was listening. Then we pulled up behind a car with this bumper sticker; " My wife says I never listen to what she says...or something like that." ! Hmm... how timely. We both laughed.
You know there are a lot of differences between how a man and woman relate to any manner of situations. Those differnces can and do cause a lot of frustration, disappointment and hurt in a marriage.
How many of us have asked the question at some time or another, "Why if God intended a man and woman to live in harmony, did he make them so different?  If I am supposed to live in peace with my husband , why are there so many things we are opposites in?"
I have felt the frustration of that question, but as my hubby and I were discussing the other day, it is those very differences that make up a good marriage.
 God created male and female in His own image. Gen. 1 :27 . Gen 2:18 says God saw that it was not good for man to be alone and made him an help suitable for him. Verse 29 of the same chapter says "and they shall be one flesh". It is in the union before God of man and woman that we become a whole creation. Eph 5: 31 gives the same thought.
So why did He make us so different? Not to be an endless frustration to us. Not to tax our christian charity. Not to give fodder for husband and wife jokes. He made us different to complete each other.
 Anything with balance must have differences. It is in our opposites that we together become completely whole. Consider for a moment, if we both were very emotional who would we lean on to be strong and sane? If we both got angry easily, who would calm us down? If we both were pessimistic who would show us the bright side? if we both like to shop who would help us save us money? If we both liked to be on the go, who would stay home and get anything done? If we both were hermits, who would help us make new friends? If we both hated to ask for directions, how would get anywhere? If we both felt discouraged at the same time, who would lift us up? If we both always felt the same about discipline of the children, who  would offer some restraint if we were too harsh or who would give some order if we were too lenient? ....We could go on and on.
We can allow are differences to pull us apart and withdraw into ourselves, or we can recognize God gave me this person because I needed those differences to balance me out. We need their strengths and, yes, we need their weaknesses. Together we make a team, a whole, a complete creation in God.
If we fight it, we break apart. If we bend , we blend. It's that simple! Rejoice in the opposites of husband and wife for that is how God intended it. " And God saw everything He made and behold it was very good" Praise our Father for His wonderful wisdom!!!!