Friday, February 10, 2012

Parenting?

Ok, I saw it once too often....
The video circulating through facebook of the dad who found the disrespectful letter about her parents on his 15yrld daughter's facebook. I am not posting the link because of the bad language on it.
The Dad proceeds to make a video and posts it on his daughter's wall of him reading the letter and addressing her issues and her subsequent punishment.
He takes issue with her foul language ; which he should. He reprimands her disrespect; which he should. He sets her straight on her viewpoint of her "unfair" life; which he should. He addresses her lack of appreciation for what he has done for her; which he should. And he clearly lays out punishment ; which he should.
When I saw it , it had over 6800 comments on it. I scrolled down quite a way and couldn't find one single one that disagreed with him. They applauded his "tough love" parenting, his being "willing to stand up", his "not taking it anymore off a spoiled brat daughter". They said more parents should parent this way then we wouldn't have kids who think they're entitled to everything and are lazy and disrespectful. And on and on....applauding his parenting.
Might sound good if that was really what it is, but it's not.
Let me address his "parenting"--
How is public punishment and humiliation any way to show your love and respect for your daughter.
He addresses her in the same tone of disrespect she uses.
He uses the same kind of language she uses.
He says that at 15 she should be out of the house holding down a job and boasts how he had left home by that age and was taking care of himself.
When he's done telling her how he feels , he stands up walks to her laptop and proceeds to put 7 bullets into it. Enunciating as he does so what this particular bullet is in response to, throwing in one as he says his wife asked him to.
Then he sits down and says he hopes all the kids who thought she was so cool can see this and he hopes parents will stand up and put boots ** ***** kids' *** for doing things like this and not take the **** **** off their kids anymore.
Really? Are you serious? That's good parenting?
No wonder the daughter has no respect. No wonder the daughter uses bad language. No wonder the daughter won't let her parents have her password and posts bad letters about them.
The problem here started long before this episode.
What happened to "Fathers provoke not your children to wrath"? What happened to " train up a child in the way he should go".
I'm all for good old-fashioned discipline. I often implement grounding and taking away privileges. There is definitely a place for tough love. I agree children of today are spoiled. I agree parents shouldn't take disrespect.
But I will not agree with punishment that is disrespectful and done in an ungodly manner. That will not reap the outcome we are looking for in our children!
Our children's training is a sacred trust. We must go with God and walk in His way to do it!

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