Parenting?

Ok, I saw it once too often....
The video circulating through facebook of the dad who found the disrespectful letter about her parents on his 15yrld daughter's facebook. I am not posting the link because of the bad language on it.
The Dad proceeds to make a video and posts it on his daughter's wall of him reading the letter and addressing her issues and her subsequent punishment.
He takes issue with her foul language ; which he should. He reprimands her disrespect; which he should. He sets her straight on her viewpoint of her "unfair" life; which he should. He addresses her lack of appreciation for what he has done for her; which he should. And he clearly lays out punishment ; which he should.
When I saw it , it had over 6800 comments on it. I scrolled down quite a way and couldn't find one single one that disagreed with him. They applauded his "tough love" parenting, his being "willing to stand up", his "not taking it anymore off a spoiled brat daughter". They said more parents should parent this way then we wouldn't have kids who think they're entitled to everything and are lazy and disrespectful. And on and on....applauding his parenting.
Might sound good if that was really what it is, but it's not.
Let me address his "parenting"--
How is public punishment and humiliation any way to show your love and respect for your daughter.
He addresses her in the same tone of disrespect she uses.
He uses the same kind of language she uses.
He says that at 15 she should be out of the house holding down a job and boasts how he had left home by that age and was taking care of himself.
When he's done telling her how he feels , he stands up walks to her laptop and proceeds to put 7 bullets into it. Enunciating as he does so what this particular bullet is in response to, throwing in one as he says his wife asked him to.
Then he sits down and says he hopes all the kids who thought she was so cool can see this and he hopes parents will stand up and put boots ** ***** kids' *** for doing things like this and not take the **** **** off their kids anymore.
Really? Are you serious? That's good parenting?
No wonder the daughter has no respect. No wonder the daughter uses bad language. No wonder the daughter won't let her parents have her password and posts bad letters about them.
The problem here started long before this episode.
What happened to "Fathers provoke not your children to wrath"? What happened to " train up a child in the way he should go".
I'm all for good old-fashioned discipline. I often implement grounding and taking away privileges. There is definitely a place for tough love. I agree children of today are spoiled. I agree parents shouldn't take disrespect.
But I will not agree with punishment that is disrespectful and done in an ungodly manner. That will not reap the outcome we are looking for in our children!
Our children's training is a sacred trust. We must go with God and walk in His way to do it!

Twenty Years Ago

Twenty years ago,today, morning dawned with a beautiful baby girl for our family! After losing 3 babies in the early stages of pregnancy and two deliveries with complications , the 9mos. prior to that were spent in a lot of prayer. We were blessed with only 7hrs of labor and no complications!
She joined two brothers 4 and 2 who were as delighted with her as we were. At last we had our tiny girl. At 7lbs and 13 oz , she was much smaller than her two brothers.
She was an excellent baby, She slept through the night after 4mos and you could just lay her down anywhere in the middle of anything and she would go to sleep! She crawled late becasue she had a difficult time figuring out how to get her knees up under her. many times we laughed at her little push-ups trying to get herself going. She went quickly from crawling to walking and walked at 10 mos.
She grew to be chubby short little toddler . Mommy had so much fun dressing her!
She quickly became my helper , as 6 more difficult pregnancies and 6 more babies entered the family in the next 10 yrs.
She learned housekeeping at a young age and became a better housekeeper than her mommy.
Throughout the years sometimes our relationship was a bit rocky. She liked cleaning and sewing-- Mom liked baking and cooking. She loved crafts--mom hated crafts. She loved bright , splashy colors-- Mom stuck to more muted tones and patterns. She could sit for hours writing stories and poems-- Mom didn't have the patience and aptitude for either. She was shy and aloof as a child and effervescently, outgoing as a teenager--Mom would have preferred it the other way around.
If Mom would have been wiser, much wiser so many years ago, things would have gone easier.
Then suddenly.... or probably not so suddenly really.... it just seemed that way.. somewhere in her mid-late teens....
We became FRIENDS....good friends! :)
Her chatter turned into long talks with mom. We discussed everything and anything. I sought her advice on decorating the house, arranging the furniture, and dressing styles. She learned to cook and bake. She was amazing at it! She was creative, talented,  and gifted in nearly every aspect of managing a home and a whole lot of delightful "extra- ciricular" activities to accent those skills.
She was/is what a mother wants...a godly, beautiful, talented daughter!
Then suddenly.....or probably not so suddenly really...it just seemed that way...
She was courting....she was married....she was gone.....
She found a young man whom we love. She was a beautiful bride.
But she moved 2500 miles away...
I miss her...we miss her...
Happy Birthday, Vonda LaRose!!!!!!!! Thank You, God for my Daughter!




Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday is supposed to be a post wth pictures and no words. Well, as anyone who knows me would tell you, "wordlessness" is hard for me. :)

But....this is my kind of wordless.....

We are in the process of moving ...

AND......

                my washer broke down
AND....
       my Bosch mixer.....looks like we will be buying bread during this move.:(
   
       there are .....NO words...

It's a little difficult to find the "Orchids"  today....

He's Just a Little Green (and yellow)Turtle

Simply Saturday

He's just a little green (and yellow)glass turtle. He is just big enough to hold a 4" flower pot or candle. He has survived 3 household moves. He really has never even made it to the "perfect" spot in a delightful herb garden for which I first invisioned him.
He was just sitting in the middle of a whole bunch of random glass stuff on a secondhand store shelf when I first saw him. He was a castoff. He never made it to someone else's "perfect" spot and they (perhaps wiser than I )decided it was time for him to go.
So there he sat.
I stopped.
He smiled.
Now really that is where he's special. If you see his smile you can't resist him. So he went home with me. He has sat and smiled ever since. It really doesn't matter how he gets pushed around he still smiles.
Today he got pushed from his windowsill and...he broke...
As always when one of the children break something, I tried not to make a big deal about it. He was after all just a little green glass turtle.
But....then .... Over my protesting, my husband stopped his work on taxes, pulled out the super glue and painstakingly glued all the pieces back together.
I really won't mind the cracks you can still see, when he is tucked into that "perfect" spot . And those cracks will always remind me of a very dear man who knew what that little glass turtle had some how came to mean to me . It would be hard for me to even tell you. It really is rather dificult to explain , but with a true friend , I didn't need to. He knew.
And the little green (and yellow)glass turtle...he still smiles.....and my heart smiles with him.

Mom's Menu: Spanish Rice, Tossed Salad, Applesauce, Biscuits w/ honey

If I could change the world, I would.

If I could take away the hurt, I would.

If I could take away the questions, I would.

If I could take away the sorrow, I would.





If I could make everyone smile , I would.

If I could give everyone food, I would.

If I could show everyone love , I would.

If I could give everyone hope , I would.,









If I could take away the pain, the hurt, the sorrow, for one, would I?

If I could give hope, a smile, food, love, to one, would I?

Why don't I??

It starts with one reaching out to one.

 

 

 

 

"These are a few of my favorite things..."

Simply Saturday


Most of these today from the men in my life :)
A gift from my 12yrld(now16) son . A Howard Miller he found at a thrift sotre and got it running again---

 A Christmas gift from my eldest son this year for my snow man collection

 Brought back for me, by my second son , when he was 17, from a missions trip with the Tarahumara Indians in Copper Canyon Mexico. Real hammered copper

 The vase a  Christmas gift from my youngest son  then 6 (now 9). The table scarf brought back from Cambodia 3yrs ago by oldest son

 Handmade for me for a Birthday gift by my then 11yrld son (now 16)

 A favorite spot under the stairs

 Oil on velvet from the Navajo Indians on our honeymoon 26 yrs ago.

 The vase a  Christmas gift from my oldest son

 

Simple ordinary...........special

Mom's menu: Supper made by the 13 yrld daughter, Meatloaf, Italian seasoned Fried Potatos, Tossed Salad

Thrifty Thursday

Have you ever been to a bent-n-dent store? That is the name often given a salvage/discount grocery store.
As our family has been in the business for several years, either operating a store or distributorship, I would like to give my readers a brief overview of really what they are all about .
        The concept is a win/win situation in a world of careless waste and rising prices.
Everyday thousands of grocery shoppers sigh upon entering their favorite store and finding the price of their favorite brand has risen once again. And everyday in the back warehouse of those same stores hundreds of dollars worth of product is being thrown away or sent out to reclamation centers. (A very small amount is sometimes donated to a local food bank)
     That is where the slavage food industry steps in. The food going to the reclamation centers is a small portion of what it could actually be but at least it is a start.
From those centers it is boxed and sent out to small salvage stores across the states. Salvage grocery stores have only recently began to catch on in the West though they have been going strong in the eastern states for many years.
    The product carried at these stores can be anything you would find in a regular grocery. It can be product that has been somehow damaged, e.g. dented cans, torn or smashed boxes, or that is close-dated or out-dated. Often though it has simply nothing wrong with it! It is shelf pulls : out of season, change of product brand, brand price change for a pre-priced item, or if the big store simply decided it was not making them enough money anymore. There is also product that is totally fine but if a case of jam , for instance, has one broken jar the big name groceries stores do not want to take the time to deal with the mess and sent it out!
    You and I are paying for the flagrant waste everytime we grocery shop because waste results in higher prices to offset costs!!
    In a reputable salvage store (more on that later) the product is carefully examined for integrity of contents. Is the can dented enought to compromise the seal? Has the inner package been torn? Is the product truly past the "safe content" date?  Most dates are simply an approximate "best by" date and have very little to do with whether or not the food is actually safe to eat. Exceptions would be fresh or refrigerated meats and dairy . And most of those if frozen by the "eat or freeze' date can be safely eaten for a long time .
     A careful shopper can save big at these stores!! An average price for a can of cream of mushroom soup is 69-79 cents, a box of name brand cereal 1.99, a pound of Starbucks coffee for 4-5 dollars, a bottle of mayonaise for a 1.69-1.89, candy bars 4 for a dollar, most spices 79-99 cents, Rice-a Roni for 69 cents, health and beauty products usually 50-70% normal price the list could go on and on!
     I do want to point out for the health minded shopper or the "from scratch" cook these stores often do not carry staples such as flour and sugar. Those packages are often too torn to safely resell the product. And they also do not always have on hand the "health food alternatives" because the supply for that is not nearly so plentiful. The key is check there FIRST because if and when they do you will save a LOT on specialty products!
   Most of these stores are small family operations so if you shop often enough to can establish a good relationship with the owners and often find out when they expect to get in another shipment of the kind of  product you want . Be there that day before it's gone! The best goes quickly to shoppers smart enought to figure that out. Just a caution , sometimes it is impossible for the store owner to know when a shipment will be in or what is on it. Do not be a brat about  demanding "just what you want".
   You will find a lot of the stores, especially those operated by the Mennonite and Amish, also carry a side line of bulk foods and specialty meats and cheeses. These may not always be cheaper (though usually the meats and cheeses are compared to big name stores) but usually they are  a superior, premium quality product.
     A word about the "reputable" stores I mentioned earlier-- there are people in this industry to try to milk it as in anything. They do not care about their product or you and are just trying to make as much money as possible by not having to throw out any product they receive. To better understand why , let me explain that this reclamation grocery comes "as-is " . It takes a LOT of work and time to sort it, clean it, check for safety,  or retape a box . So get to know the owners so you will feel assured that the food is clean and safe. You can usually tell when you walk through the door . If the store looks and smells clean and neat , the product is usually also carefully taken care of.
    Interestingly, a lot of the stores are owned and operated by christian families who have seen a need to offest waste and provide an income for their families where the family can work together.
  Just a few shots of our store behind the scenes when we were operating one.
             A LOT of work sorting and stocking......

                       .....often led to silliness and a need for a break :)

                           You never know what you might find in a box

                      The cardboard crew after loading the truck

                                     
 A look inside our current distribution... since moving to this house the living  and dining rooms become a staging place for boxes...not always fun ... but it works for now

    We buy  reclamation direct from regular grocery suppliers and distribute to salvage stores. It is a lot of loading and unloading, sorting ,  and counting. Most of what we deal in is snack foods.

  
When you shop a salvage store you save BIG for your family, you save our landfills and you do just a small part at least to combat America's wastefulness! Find a store in your area and check it out!!